“You can have a successful business or career, and you can have a loving relationship and a loving family as well. You can have it all.”

You can listen to Maverick Mompreneur Podcast Episode 155. “Why High-Achieving Women Keep Settling In Love (And What to Do About It)“ by clicking the player below, streaming on your favorite platform, or reading the summary article at the bottom of this post!

EPISODE BLOG

Why High-Achieving Women Keep Settling In Love (And What to Do About It)

Let’s talk about something that doesn’t get said out loud enough: High-achieving women—the ones crushing it in business, goals, and growth—often settle when it comes to love.

In Episode 155 of the Maverick Mompreneur Podcast, I sat down with self-love and relationship coach (and licensed therapist!) Raelara Tilden to unpack exactly why this happens—and more importantly, what to do about it.

Rae’s story is powerful. After burning out in both private therapy practice and real estate, she found her calling in coaching high-performing women who feel “off” in love. She’s walked the path herself—and she’s helping others do the same, without sacrificing ambition, success, or sanity.

🚩 Why Are So Many High-Achieving Women Unfulfilled in Love?

Rae didn’t sugarcoat it: For many of us, our masculine energy is on overdrive. We’re strategic. We get things done. We’re used to being in control—because we’ve had to be. That energy helps us lead and build, but it can also make it harder to attract emotionally safe, supportive partners.

We settle because we think:

• “I can’t have it all.”

• “This is as good as it gets.”

• “It’s not that bad.”

But what if the root of all of this is a lack of true self-love?

🪞You Attract Who You Are, Not What You Want

Rae dropped one of my favorite truth bombs in this convo: “You don’t attract what you want—you attract who you are.”

And if who you are is someone who neglects your own needs, silences your voice, or beats yourself up in your head daily, you’re more likely to attract partners who reflect that same treatment back to you.

This is where the real work begins—not in swiping, but in self-connection.

💡So, What Do You Do About It?

Rae breaks it down with four powerful strategies high-achieving women can use to start showing up differently in love:

1. Build a Relationship With Yourself

We hear “self-love” everywhere, but what does it actually mean?

It’s not just journaling or bubble baths (though yes, love those too). It’s learning to treat yourself the way you want to be treated in a relationship.

Rae shared: “If you want emotional safety from someone else, you need to stop criticizing yourself first. Practice speaking to yourself the way you would your best friend. That’s where it starts.”

2. Shift Out of Masculine Energy

If you’ve ever planned the dates, fixed the sink, managed the family calendar and paid the bills… you’re probably leading from your masculine.

Rae teaches clients how to tap into feminine energy: the space of allowing, receiving, and flow.

This doesn’t mean giving up your power—it means knowing when to soften and let others show up for you.

Her tip: “If your partner offers help, take it. Letting them care for you is not weakness—it’s partnership.”

3. Don’t Mistake Settling for Strength

Rae’s seen it all—clients who are running seven-figure businesses but are afraid to be “needy” in love. So they stay in relationships where they’re unsupported, unseen, or undervalued.

Truth? That’s not strength. That’s self-abandonment.

And you deserve more than someone who’s “just there.”

4. Look for This One Green Flag

Forget the tall-dark-handsome checklist. If you take one thing from this post, let it be this: Emotional safety is the #1 green flag.

Ask yourself:

• Do I feel safe expressing how I feel?

• Am I heard?

• Is there space for me here?

And if that’s not there, it’s not the right person—no matter how much potential they have.

✨ Real Talk From My Heart to Yours

As someone who’s done this work—and who has finally experienced what a safe, aligned relationship feels like—I want to tell you: You can have it all.

You can be successful, ambitious, thriving—and also soft, supported, loved deeply.

But it starts with you.

Like Rae says, “You have to stop settling for scraps and believe you’re worthy of the whole table.”

Ready to Start?

Rae’s Self-Love Toolkit is a perfect place to begin—it’s packed with journal prompts, affirmations, and exercises to reconnect you to YOU.

Want more support? She also offers a 90-minute VIP coaching session to help you map your exact roadmap to emotional healing and love alignment.

🔗 Resources Mentioned:

• Instagram: @coachingwithrae
• Website: www.coachingwithrae.com
• Coach Rae’s Programs & Products, including the Self-Love Toolkit, Attachment Healing Masterclass, and Boundary Breakthrough Program

Final Word

You’re not too much. You’re not asking for too much. And you absolutely don’t have to choose between love and success.

You just need to choose you first.